I’m excited to be getting this series underway! Our first Guest is Debi. Debi has been married for 36 years, has 2 children and 6 grandchildren. She is the coordinator of the Heart Strings Ministry (ladies ministry) at our church and has taught many bible studies for Ladies and also taught studies with her husband for Parents. She has been an incredible encouragement to me as well as other women in the community. Please welcome her for our first Titus 2 for Today’s Woman series post!
Question: Why is it so important for Christian women to be submissive wives…even if their husband isn’t saved, (a believer who has trusted in Jesus Christ)?
This is a very hot topic because submission has many times been improperly defined and incorrectly applied. It really needs much more than a short answer, but I will try to keep it simple and to the point.
We all submit. The question is, to whom or to what. We submit to many authorities, such as, police, judges, bosses, presidents and boards of clubs and organizations, pastors and deacons. We also submit to laws, rules of banking, bylaws of clubs, and on and on.
Submission does not mean I am a doormat for my husband to trample on with no opinion of my own. God gave us brains and expects us to use them. We are to speak the truth in love and kindness. When we have done that, we are to submit to our husband’s decision. Be sure it is truth you are speaking and not just manipulating to get your own way.
The first and most important reason to submit to our own husbands is because God commands it. “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians ,24 NASB
The Greek word for “be subject to” is hupotasso.It is a military term which means to be ranked under in military order. It doesn’t mean inferior.
Another reason, and command, is found in I Peter 3:1,2 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” NASB
In the above verse, “disobedient to the word,” means they are not Christians. How important is that? That an unbelieving husband may become a believer because of his wife’s loving, respectful, submissive behavior?
Another reason, just as important, for wives’ submission is found in Titus2:3-5 “…being subject to her own husband that the word of God may not be dishonored.” NASB
I do not want my behavior to dishonor the word of God!
Dear Ladies, remember, your submission is not dependant on your husband’s behavior. Nor are you responsible, nor will you be held accountable to God for his behavior. But God WILL hold YOU responsible and accountable for YOUR obedience or disobedience to His commands. The only justifiable reason to not submit to your husband would be in the case of him asking you to sin. But, again, be sure it IS sin and not just you wanting your own way.
There has been so much good Biblical information written on this topic that it would take much more time and space to flesh out than I have here. So I would like to suggest you do your own investigation of the subject. Start by reading these verses as well as the passages in which they are found. Then go to commentaries on the Bible. Study Bibles also will have notes & commentaries on them.
I would also like to recommend two books. There are others as well, but I know these are excellent. The first is “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace. There is also a study guide to go with it. Our ladies Sunday School class took about a year to work through it. Another great book is, “Biblical Womanhood in the Home”, edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. There is a chapter in it by P. Bunny Wilson entitled, “Liberated by Submission”, which is excellent as well.
I would also like to strongly encourage you to go to reviveourhearts.com where you will find many Biblically sound, doctinally true resources, including ones on submission. Give her 30 day husband encouragement challenge a try! It’s well worth it and can be life-changing.
I heard a wise woman say, “If you agree with his decision, it’s not true submission. True submission comes when we disagree with him and submit lovingly, honestly, and kindly anyway.”
A word of advice to help us remember to be submissive, especially when things aren’t going the way we think they should:
God is in control at all times in all ways.
God has promised never to leave us, nor forsake us. Hebrews 13:5
God will never give you more than you, in His strength, can handle. Philippians 4:13
God blesses obedience.
And…I heard John Piper speak and was impacted by something he said. “God is always at work in every situation doing a thousand different things that you cannot see and do not know.” (my paraphrasing) Nancy Leigh DeMoss of reviveourhearts.com has a study on Habakkuk which addresses this very subject, (God working behind the scenes). It is titled, “Worries, Woes, & Worship: Moving From Fear To Faith”.
Dear Ladies, I pray that God richly blesses you as you move forth in obedience to Him by lovingly submitting to your own husbands.